Humanity/ Gratitude/ Faith

God always has a plan & even if I may not know what that is quite yet, I know, without a doubt that things will work out just as they are intended to. He will never give us more than we can handle & that is why I have faith. No use worrying or stressing over things.
Of course, I am human & I am going through many different emotions of all sorts due to the gravity of the situation. Your Papa is such an incredible man. He has a heart of gold & fights fiercely for the ones he loves. I have seen it. He seems unsettled, like he isn't sure exactly what he wants out of life. I actually wonder if that is part of where our issues come from. We go about things differently. For instance, as I've already said, to me, the single most important thing in the world is my family & friends. It's taking every moment to soak in all the blessings I have. I know that I need to look to the future somewhat, however, I also feel that if it takes away from the present, it steals the only time we are promised. Every moment is a gift & we need to appreciate it as such.
I don't know what else I can say to Mike that I haven't already. I love him above all & I want my family back in its entirety. For some reason, he thinks me saying I want to take things slow with our relationship means that it isn't priority to me or that I don't really want a relationship with him. What I have learned with this situation is that you can't choose who you love. You love who you love, & in this instance, He is the only person I have ever been in love with & I still am. I think that it's a little twisted, but we are all guilty of this. We hurt the ones we love the most... & I think that to a certain extent, Kari had a point when she said once that It's easier to hurt those people because we know they aren't going anywhere. The people we love the most are the ones we are most comfortable with & we know that they will never write us off or leave. It's a certain comfort zone we establish & it makes it easier to let down our guards & also in turn to lash out when we need to because we know they are always going to be there. Bittersweet in a way..