Shattered

Such bittersweet moments these past few days... I am overwhelmed by it all today. I could NEVER regret doing what I felt I had to to protect my baby girl, however, I feel as though my heart has been shattered into a million pieces. What is left to do when you love someone & only want them to be happy but all you see them do is sabotage their happiness with delusion & paranoia? When all they see is black & white & ignore the gray? When someone isn't willing to take responsibility? When they lash out at the ones who love them the most? How could one's heart not break???
I have truly learned that most people have no tolerance or compassion for someone who is sick.  They don't view a mental illness like they do Autism or Cancer or Diabetes. There is a true lack of understanding & intolerance for the actions of someone suffering from a mental illness & to a certain extent, I think it's due to a lack of knowledge about it. Even I notice at times that I have to stop myself & remember it is an illness, not who he is. That in no way means it makes for a free ride, it simply means that it's out of their control & we need to be the ones to take the appropriate action.
I know for certain that there are a very few amount of people who will ever truly understand why I have not written this all off long ago. & I don't feel that I need to justify it, but maybe just explain from my standpoint to see if they can attempt to understand things. First & foremost, I love your Papa. That has never changed & never been the issue. How could I not love the father of my amazing daughter? I see so much of him in you... some of your mannerisms, your personality. For, you are the absolute very best part of the both of us.