Valentines Day

“Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.”
“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”
“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”
“We seem to gain wisdom more readily through our failures than through our successes. We always think of failure as the antithesis of success, but it isn't. Success often lies just the other side of failure.”
"If not now, when?"
“Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.”
“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge - myth is more potent than history - dreams are more powerful than facts - hope always triumphs over experience - laughter is the cure for grief - love is stronger than death”


So, as I sit this morning contemplating my day, I am filled with many emotions. I am happy! I see a whole new world ahead! Hopeful, terrified, blessed, loved, cherished, amazed, excited, nervous, silly, rejuvenated, challenged, & the list goes on & on. I am finally seeing what Shilo & a few others have been trying to tell me for years about love & falling in love. There really is a difference. I always thought that the mushy stuff was for first loves & people who weren't jaded by love. I have mistaken genuine love, as in friendship love, with actually being in love. The past month has been utterly & irrevocably one of the best I've had in a LONG time! Reconnecting with an old friend & getting to know each other all over again has been incredible. Mike has renewed the fight I had in me that I didn't even know I lost. He inspires me to reach beyond the stars & makes me believe in myself again. I know that I can do anything I put my mind to again.... something I forgot over the past few years. I became so consumed by work & what was comfortable that I stopped reaching for the stars. I became comfortably numb or immune. 
I've noticed through the years that I tend to detach myself so as not to get too involved or too close. Perhaps it's the survivor instinct in me that kicks in when I get too close or comfortable. It flags me & tells me that if I trust too deep or fall too hard or love too much or cry too often, that it makes me vulnerable to too many factors. I may never trust again or I may not be able to get back up or  my heart may be broken permanently or I may turn into a weeping, balling idiot, etc... Fear held my emotions in check, in a way. The interesting thing is, this time around, I am not afraid. It is a little scary, but even though I am scared, it hasn't held me back as it has in the past.  I think that is what makes it scary. I am a fairly cautious person & usually take things slow & weigh all my options & with this, there just didn't seem like there was even a choice to make. Things just progressed naturally. It was natural to just be together... to talk & joke & spend time & everything in between.
He seems to get me on a level that most others do not & hes not intimidated by me or even afraid to call me on my shit either. I love that.
I was encouraged to be my own person & make my own choices & think for myself & so much else. I am excited to see what is in store for us as a couple.
Two days after I began this post...