The Beginning of the Rest of My LIfe

Today marks the beginning of the rest of my life. I will not dwell on or live in the past. I will remember my mistakes only to serve as a reminder for what not to do in the future & also to appreciate the things I accomplish that much more. I will be grateful for every day that I am given & I will make the most of it. I have no idea what lies ahead for me. I will not lie. I am terrified right now. Sometimes I feel so completely alone in this. Today should have been a good day. I am completely frustrated that I am having so many emotions go through my mind & sometimes all at once. & I feel at times I am alone in this because I get emotional or overwhelmed with something & no one seems to get it or understand what I mean. I would really just like someone to temporarily take the reins & tell me to relax & it will be okay. I suppose I am feeling like I need some reassurances of my own. Don't get me wrong, the boy is pretty wonderful, most of the time. He gets in these moods & I just feel like I'm all alone & like he'd rather be elsewhere. It seems as though he'd rather be on his phone or in the bedroom or on the computer... anywhere where I am not. Maybe I am just that difficult. I know I frustrate him because I don't share his zeal on certain subjects. I have tried to explain to him that just because I don't spend as much time on it doesn't mean I don't believe it or I think he's crazy. I tried to explain to him that I just prefer to focus more on the present instead of the what ifs. The way he views my nonchalance to his subjects about sums up how I feel when it comes to this life inside me & how he views us right now. I am so beyond terrified & I worry about am I eating enough/ am I eating the right foods/ if I'm throwing up, what kind of nutrition is the baby getting/ since I am overweight still, is that going to make it more difficult for this baby or theses babies to grow healthy without complications/ & the list goes on & on...
So far, I have discovered that I only puke when I haven't eaten enough or I take my vitamins on an empty stomach, so I think morning sickness hasn't hit yet or isn't going to. Hoping for the latter.
I will do my very best to make this the healthiest & best pregnancy I can, so we can all have a great experience.