A Soul To Keep

This white phantom has fought for so long ~
So much of it seems so wrong.
I can't fight when I'm not sure what it's for.
All I want is to be free ~
Free of doubt ~
Free of fear ~
Free of longing~
To know you are near.
I curse myself for wanting it,
But must admit I do ~
To be able to let go of you.
I wish you never loved me ~
Or maybe that I never knew.
For now I'm not quite sure
What I ought to do.
I am so completely in rapture ~
My heart was long ago captured ;
And hasn't yet been released.
All I want is to be free ~
Free to love ~
Free to be loved ~
Free to be me.
I want to escape
This seemingly uncertain fate.
To stop hiding behind
Every excuse I find;
To not let you go
If it's all in vain.
I feel I should know.
With everything I feel,
It's so hard to tell what's real.
People tell me, " He knows..."
And, "It's time for you to let go."
No one really sees
That this White Wave has come crashing to her knees.
She's let the ship come to bay,
Whether or not she likes it this way.
Everything will be alright
If I hold on to the light.
I haven't given up, just let it rest ~
Let it find it's own place to nest.
I've let this ship sail to shore ~
It knows where I'll be if it wants more.
The White Phantom has gone to sleep ~
For it's own soul it still must keep.